Fat Princess Impressions

I only played it for a few hours after downloading it. First off, don't even think about trying to use the "find a game" option. You will try to connect for about 5-7 minutes and be kicked out to the start menu over and over again. Go through the tutorial and create a game if you want to play online. It's push button to talk and when I was playing nobody was using voice chat at all. In my last game I was begging people to help me steal or princess back but nobody listened and we lost because of it. The online was super smooth for me with 0 lag and I exclusively use wifi for online games. There was absolutely no choppiness and people didn't pause and jump around all over the map.

It's a lot more than just capture the flag, though one of the play types is exactly that. You can also win by killing all the opposing team, or capturing their bases before time runs out. Ever class has two different weapons and ways to attack. Attacks can also be charged. You can choose the warrior class and charge head on, ranger to pick off enemies from afar, mages to use spells on enemies to deal damage and slow them down, priests to heal your team or drain the live out of enemies, workers who use resources from the map to upgrade hat machines and build useful items to help you infiltrate the opposing castle, and regular town people who can move the fastest to capture bases and collect items like cake for the princess. There is always something to do and you can choose a different class at any time by picking up a different hat.

The downside there is nothing built into the game to get people to work as a team. Since very few people are voice chatting, and even fewer are actually listening to the voice chatting people it's hard to organize a few people to help achieve a goal. I played on map for about an hour where the objective was to capture the princess and only myself and one other person actually tried to infiltrate the castle to get her. I single handily rescued her myself while the rest of the team was content to fight it out as I walked right past them with her in tow. The game has taunts assigned to the d-pad but it would be infinitely more helpful to have team messages instead such as "let's get the princess," "lets attack them here," "help defend this base," or any number of things that would get someone's attention.

Despite the teamwork issue, the game is a lot of fun and looks amazing in it's 1080p cartoony art style complete with lots of blood and gore. I expect the teamwork thing to improve slightly as more people get their hands on it and figure out what to do. It's also great fun seeing +10 above you head every time you take out an enemy or help build something. There is a single player mode as well which I haven't checked out yet so even if the online community goes away you'll still be able to enjoy the game. Is it worth $15... well I can't answer that just yet. If you've got money in your PSN wallet though, you could find way worse things to spend it on.

Hump Day review

The trailer really says all you need to know, but it's another of the 5 movies I saw last week. The movie keeps you laughing pretty much from beginning to end. A longtime friend shows up at his buddy's house at 2am wanting to catch up and needing a place to stay for an indefinite amount of time. Later they go to a party where after consumption of much alcohol the topic of Seattle's infamous free paper The Stranger and their porn contest, Humpfest, comes up. This actually does exist and there's still time to enter this for this year's contest. The two make a drunken deal to enter something that would surely be a submission the likes the paper has never seen, two straight guys doing each other. The bulk of the movie revolves around them trying to give themselves a way out of the agreement and psyching themselves up to actually do what they said they would do. The awesome thing about this comedy is that it's a situation where the actors don't really have to act to make it funny. The two lead actors have great screen chemistry and feed off of that energy to produce great comedy and great laughs. The woman who plays Ben's wife could have easily been a throwaway character, but she brought weight to her role and realness to the situation. I laughed all through this movie and found it to say a lot more about men dealing with their sexuality and homophobia than Sacha Baron Cohen's Bruno.

Grade B
Meta Grade 85

Oh and The Stranger is an interesting paper. It actually is a great source for movie and restaurant reviews, but I think most of its funding comes from all of the adult services ads that take up almost 1/2 the paper, and they know it. It does have some good articles and it's got that magical price point of free so if you're ever in Seattle, you should definitely check it out.

500 Days of Summer review

At its core it's a love story about the one that got away 100% from the guy's perspective (which is easily inferred from the author's note at the beginning of the movie). Joseph Gorden Levitt plays the guy who gets the girl, Summer played by Zoe Deschanel, but can't manage to keep her. Zoe Deschanel doesn't really even have to act at this point in her career. She's young, beautiful, and has that quirky sense about her that makes you feel like she loves the band you love that only sold 1,000 records, and every outfit she puts on is the cutting edge of fashion that hasn't been discovered yet. The movie plays with this very much. The amount of fun they were having at IKEA makes me want to take every girl I'm ever interested in there for a date. In just about every mans life, there's some girl that really messes him up and the movie shows that guys fall hard. Levitt is able to portray the highest highs and lowest lows of this emotional whirlwind in a way that is not only comical but upliftingly and heartcrushing real. It's the movie that other romantic comedies wish they could be. It will make you laugh as much as it will make you cringe at something that happened between you and an ex in the past. It's eclipsed Garden State as my favorite modern movie about two people coming together.

Grade: A
Meta Grade: 90

Doom for G1 review

Doom is a game you've at least herd of despite whether or not you play video games. If you are a game player. It's a relic from the days when PC shooters were king, before having a story was a part of gaming, and before people figured out using a mouse with a keyboard was better for the genre. It's continued to reappear on different platforms throughout the years. Atari's Jaguar console was the first home platform to have it. I played it on a flight from Seattle to LAX on Red, Virgin America's in flight entertainment system. More recently, I picked it up on my G1 phone.

The game is the exact same as it has ever been. You start at point A, explore the level killing several demon sprites along the way until your reach point B and the game tells you how well you did based on the time it took, how many kills you got, and how many secrets you found. Then you're transplanted to a new level to do it all over again. This game was made before developers made shooters that gave you the ability to look up or down. It was when on screen targeting reticules were optional instead of standard features. It was before cover systems, and circle strafing was nigh impossible perform.

The version available for free on the G1 is the exact same game. It's actually a little surprising how well it works on the phone. It uses WASD for forward, backward and strafing with the tracter ball for looking like all modern mouse and keyboard shooters. This more modern control scheme makes it feel much easier to play and the G1 version controls are superior to the version I played on that Virgin flight. It runs much smoother on my G1 than the computer I played the original ran it several years ago. The sound effects are all there and provide a bit of nostalgia. There really is nothing bad to say about the it as it is a very well done port. The only drawbacks to it are the limitations of a game that is now over 15 years old. It's definitely worth a download.

The inevitable open world game comparison article.

So now that I've completed all 3 of the big summer open world games, I have to say that Red Faction is the best of them. It sort of has everything I liked about inFamous and Prototype but Red Faction has much better execution overall.

When you do a side mission in inFamous the baddies wouldn't spawn in that area any more, but you did sort of do the same missions over and over again. I liked the idea that Prototype wanted you to do skill based side missions, but you didn't really gain anything from them aside from EP which could be better farmed elsewhere in the game. In Red Faction everything you do has an effect on the environment and how you are perceived. There are no elements of the game that seem out of place. It understands what it is, knows where the fun is, and gives you complete access to it. At the start of the game they give you a sledge hammer and swinging that damn thing never stopped being fun whether I was rushing down EDF troupes or a tank, or trying to destroy a 5-story building with it because I ran out of remote charges.

Of the three main characters Cole, Alex, and Mason, Mason was the most likable. He was just a guy who went to Mars to be a minor and got thrown into the revolution after his brother was killed. He feels very grounded in the games reality and his actions fit with what that person would do under those circumstances. inFamous had moral choices built in so you never really do get to know the real Cole, but the glimpses you get from him show that he is conflicted about what he should be doing even when the game isn't asking you to choose good or evil actions. Alex isn't really a character and Prototype doesn't let you get to know the person your controlling. It doesn't even allow you to control the amounts of collateral damage you're inflicting when on mission.

There were several moments in all three games where you do something that makes you feel really awesome and powerful. For me in inFamous it was when I climbed to the top of the tower build by the Dustmen. Figuring out how to get up there was great. Also jumping off the roof of a building and hovering over to the middle of the street before dropping 20+ stories to the bottom setting off a huge electrical charge that blew up any vehicles and enemies in the blast area was very satasfying. In Prototype, I loved duking it out with the military and infected in the middle of Times Square. In Red Faction, looking at a giant structure or infiltrating a military base and figuring out how I wanted to destroy it to rubble, and then doing it exactly as I planned was the most awesome thing I've ever done in an open world game. Chasing down a tank that's running away from you and your sledge hammer while yelling "that's right you better run" at the screen was a close second.

Combat wise, I loved fighting the enemies of inFamous with both sets of Cole's powers. There's something to be said for being able to shoot lightning bolts from you hands, throw lightning grenades, and summon a giant lightning bolt from the sky and control its path toward a giant group of enemies. Having three different sets of enemies occupy each area of the city was cool and you had to engage them differently. They were also intelligent enough to do things like hide behind cover and flank you when you were trying to hide. You have some great skirmishes, and enemies didn't continuously spawn for hours on end like the do in Prototype. There's something to be said for beating the enemy so bad that they have to leave and regroup, or are forced out of an area. Prototype doesn't embrace this concept and enemies continuously come until you flee the area and hide from them. You fight the same character models all the time and they never change up what they do to make you think about how to engage. You will actually see the same character animations over and over throughout the whole game and the combat is pretty much a never ending slaughterhouse for Alex until you get tired. Once they engage you, you had better be prepared to fight all out too as there is no escalation. There is only enemies not knowing where you are or every enemy in the game is coming after you. Red Faction handles enemies similar to both games. The do spawn out of nowhere sometimes, but if you beat them all down, it'll be a while before they show up again, if they show up at all. There is a learning curve to the combat though where you have to break from what you normally would do in other games and charge in head on for some up close and personal melee kills or set traps for your enemies with remote charges or some of the other toys they give you to play with in the game. The enemies are intelligent and will do try to outsmart you. There is an escalation to how they engage you, and they do become stronger and get stronger weapons throughout the game to use against you. No two battles are the same in this game.

There was a lot of fun to be had in all three games, but Red Faction Gureilla never seemed to get old. Prototype and inFamous let you have super powers which every kid wants, but Red Faction's here's a hammer now go wreck stuff approach is akin to what happens when you buy a kid a shiny new toy and the kid has more fun with the box it came in. Who needs fancy powers when you have a sledge hammer?

Shift review

Clever and fun are two words that should mingle more often when It comes to video games. Shift for iPhone manged to bring the two together to make a great platforming puzzle game that is a must play.

On its surface, Shift seems like any other side scroller with pits to jump over and doors to get to but after the first few levels the real fun begins. The game is in black and white, and you control a figure running through the environment trying to get to a door. At any time you can press the shift button and flip the orientation of the stage and run on the underside of the platforms. The game is also timing you and you can check your clear time against others who have completed it online.

Shift has a feel that is very similar to Portal. It even makes a reference to the game early on. What Portal did was give you new puzzles every level that basically taught you what you needed to clear the final level of the game. This game does the same thing with the puzzles you get early on teaching you how to control your fall or to spot certain oddities in the environment that you'll have to use later. There are also a few humorous little text boxes scattered throughout the levels that remind you that you are being timed, and give you a hint as to what to do.

Every puzzle in this game is solvable with a little thought. I never was stuck for more than 3-5 minutes my first time through it. You'll want to play it again and again to see how fast you can get through it. I can't wait to see the next game from these guys.

Grade A

Meta Grade 93

Zombieville USA review

Zombieville USA for the iPhone allows you to fight hoards of zombies without having to fight iPhone controls. Now if it could only get you to exercise...

Zombieville USA is a side scrolling action game that makes iPhone controls work. You touch the arrow on the right to move right, the arrow on the left moves you left, and you tap the space in between to shoot. Zombies come from both sides of the screen or raise from the ground and you kill them before they kill you. There's something to be said for simplicity. Every zombie you kill gets you cash to buy upgrades with when you reach the end of the level. There are quite a few weapons available and more powerful versions unlock as you purchase what's available. You can also tap on the front doors of the houses you pass to hide in them as well as search them for more ammo and cash.

What this game has in variety of weapons, it lacks in variety of enemies. You will kill many of the same zombie over and over but as the levels increase the zombies will magically be able to take more damage without warning or them giving any indication that they've leveled up. Simply putting a different color shirt on the newer more powerful enemies would have done the trick. It would also have increased the tension because you'd think "man I've gotta get past 4 of those red shirt guys" instead of wondering how many bullets they can take at the beginning of each level. I was surprised with how well the game was able to pull off the feel of tension. You constantly have to watch your ammo while deciding whether or not to try to run or kill more zombies for more cash for the end of the level upgrades.

If you've got a couple bucks to spend and you like side scrolling games or zombies, this game will appease you for a bit, but it's not exactly anything you're going you'll be super looking forward to playing.

Grade C+

Meta Grade 70

Star Defense review

There's been a seemingly endless pile of tower defense games that has accumulated in the past couple years. Star Defense is one of the gems that shines brighter than the rest of the pack.

Within a years time I've defended forests from monsters by placing towers in bushes, a town of ninjas from invading orange blobs, and have stopped several geometric shapes, pirate ships, tanks, and all sorts of invading attackers from breaking my shields, doors, or whatever their goal was. It's hard to make the genre of tower defense seem new and fresh. Star Defense from ngmoco has you protecting a series of planets from alien invasion. It's in fully rendered in 3-D and you will constantly be rotating the planets to place towers and modify your defenses against the invaders. It is the same thing every game in the genre does, but it does manage to breathe a bit of life into the genre.

In most games in this genre you always have full view of the map, your towers, and the incoming enemies. The planets you have to defend in this game are spherical or cubical orbs that do not allow full visibility of the entire map at all times. The enemies have a set path which makes it easier, but you will not know what's happening on the other side of the planet while you're viewing or placing towers on the part that is in view. They've limited the variety of towers and the number of times you can upgrade a tower to help with that. Taking into account the topography of the planet and the range of every tower is vital in this game. You are basically setting up the best defense for every area of one planet and moving to the next section returning to make minor updates.

If you like tower defense, you're going to love this game. In addition to the campaign mode, there is a challenge mode which will update you high scores on your Facebook page or Twitter feed. There are also achievements that will have you replaying portions of the game a few times if you feel the need to collect them all. The music is excellent and has a nice ambient feel to it that fits well with the setting of the game. If you own an iPhone you will no doubt be bombarded with an endless selection of tower defense. This is the one to play.

Grade A

Meta Grade 90

... And we're back!

It's been a while, I know. The thing about moving is you always find out you had way more stuff than your originally thought and finding something to do with all that stuff is a long painstaking process. I'm pretty much settled into the new place now. Well, as settled as I can be considering I no longer live in a major metropolitan area and I'm over 2 hours away from indi films and fish tacos. Oh and my new full time job is freelance journalist which pays absolute crap. Thank god I can get some unemployment for the meantime-in-between-time to help with expenses. Speaking of expenses, my car just broke down again yesterday. I have no clue what's wrong with it. I just paid $650.00 to get it fixed Tuesday and I have a feeling whatever it needs now will be over a grand. We'll see how it goes. More reviews are to come.