Punch Out!! - Racism Rebooted

Over 20 years ago an arcade machine taught us all to be raciest. It featured a green wire frame boxer fighting one stereotype after another until finally you went up against the final boss (which could have been Mike Tyson, Mr. Dream, or Mr. Sandman depending on what version you played). I was never good at the arcade versions of the game, but liked my uncle's version of Mike Tyson's Punch Out!! so much that I begged my mother to get me it. When I did get it Tyson's contract had run out and he was replaced by Mr. Dream. He fought exactly the same as Tyson, but it just wasn't the same to me. I could always get to him after hours of playtime taking down all the boxers on the way, but could never manage to put him down. My uncle beat him for me and autographed my copy of the game. I'll never forget the inscription, "Charles has beat Mr. Dream." It's been 22 years since that moment and aside from feeling really old now, I am happy to see the game make a return to the Nintendo console after a more than 10 year hiatus.

The new Punch Out!! for Wii is what retro dreams are made of. It is the same game those of us in our upper 20's and beyond grew up playing but completely redone in a 3D engine with stylized graphics, tight controls, and lots of love. Little Mac is back and so are 13 of his most worthy opponents in this new version. It is very much done in the old style of game play where you advance by trial and error (or muscle memory) and when you fail (and you will) you know it's your fault, not the game's. You would think figuring out a guy's tell and getting out of the way of whatever punch he was throwing would be easy, but just like my 8 year old self, I twitched, or missed the just frame body blow and ate big damage. And since this is 2009, the game makes sure you know you're hurt.

There are some really nice little touches here and it feels like stuff the original developers always wanted in the game but the technology at the time wouldn't have allowed them to do. Every character speaks in their own native language. Glass Joe speaks French, Piston Hondo (why Nintendo, why) speaks Japanese, Soda Popinski (or Vodka Drunkenski if you remember the arcade version) speaks Russian, and so on. And it now features more racism as baguettes float over Glass Joe's head when he's dizzy now and croissants fall out him when you knock him out. Hondo sees sushi rolls when dizzied, and Hippo sees pineapples. And the most hurtful stereotype is none other than Mac's trainer and his Bagger Vance-esc comments "come on Mac baby, you can take this sucka." I am not making this up. Still it's all in good fun and quite frankly I don't think I want a Punch Out!! without racism. It's part of what made the game fun. After you've put down the World Circuit champion, Mr. Sandman in this version, you unlock Title Defense Mode. In this mode you get to fight all 13 fighters again but this time they don't have their normal weaknesses. Glass Joe wears headgear which makes him harder to put down and you actually have to use more skill to figure out how to beat him and the 12 other guys waiting for a rematch. The game also has multiplayer verses which I have not partaken in yet. You can play it classic style with the wii-mote turned sideways or with the nunchuk. It also supports the balance board if you want to dodge along with Mac. It took me about 3 hours to finish the world circuit and will take much longer to finish the harder mode so there are loads of hours of fun and frustration to be had with this game. If you ever play the original, you owe it to yourself to pick this game up as it is everything you could have wanted and more and that's something you can't say too often about anything you feel nostalgia for. 10/100/A+